Hi, Under the Radar,
Greetings! Nice to have you along. If you have questions, feel free to ask. There is no such thing as a bad question. You are among friends who are just as curious and concerned as you are. Remember, we were all taught in the book of Acts, that we should be like the Beroeans, to "carefully examine the scriptures to see if they are so." That scriptural verse they have skipped.
Here, you can discuss freely without scrutiny. We are sheep without a sheperd- scattered and beaten we have become. Your conscience is what matters, there is no guilt when your very heart is searching for Truth. When I left the so-called truth in the early 1980's, not long after my Parents, I realized that in the end, it will be based on me, my closeness with Jehovah, and the scriptures. That is it.
I have read all of Ray Franz's books and found them quite enlightening, it would make for quite a Movie.
One last thought- With all that is on your mind, it would'nt hurt to pray about the things you are thinking about. He made your heart, your mind, and everything you are thinking, it will help, Trust me!
Sincerely, Truth and Justice